What A Semester It Has Been…

Reflecting back on the semester as a whole it has been a rough one, full of challenging situations and learning experiences.  Most of these however, have been in my personal life and so it was learning to balance emotions and stress with the ongoing classes and work.  The transition to grad school wasn’t too bad.  I know USD well and am comfortable here, more so the challenges at work involved the shift in role from student to employee or advisor and finding the proper balance. I am at home in the SLIC office.  I love the people, love the students, love the support etc.  I always have motivation to get up and go to work but when both expected and unexpected “life” situations happen you are challenged. School has also been great this semester.  Classes weren’t too overwhelming at any time but I was definitely challenged to be aware, think and lead in new ways. 

The move to the “real world” kept me on my toes and constantly reminded me of what’s important in life. The semester started out with a fight outside my new apartment across the street from campus.  My roommate/best friend and I called the police and were eventually subpoenaed into court for witnessing the pretty serious assault.  Mark, my boyfriend of a few years, was studying for the LSAT on Oct. 1^st and now is applying to law school (after killing the test!).  Although it doesn’t directly involve me, it was and still is an added stress in providing constant support. My wonderful Mother only has one of her four children at home now and calls every other week asking if I can come home to visit.  With two of my siblings on the East Coast it has been a difficult transition for her and for all of us.  A few weeks after the fight incident our house was burglarized.  We lost most of our jewelry, some clothes, fans (what the heck), cameras, chargers, change, purses and so on.  That was the first time I have ever felt completely violated and uncomfortable in my own house.  It was a rough few weeks.   My new car got a huge scratch while someone else was driving it and shortly there after the rain came…  Our roof leaked, to the point of water dripping onto my bed through the ceiling. I had to move out for a few days while there were able to replace the roof and check for mold. Finally, after a great Thanksgiving with my family, my roommate and I were both pushed even further.  Amanda’s Uncle committed suicide the weekend after Thanksgiving and I clipped a homeless man who attempted to jump in front of my car on the 8 freeway.  I lost control of my car, finally pulled over, and sat crying thinking I had just killed someone.  Needless to say I was very upset but celebrating Nick Kajimoto’s birthday quickly there after the incident helped ease the struggle.  The man survived, I am fine, but am again reminded of how fragile and precious life really is, and how much I have to be thankful for.  

All this being said, it has been a semester of much joy, laughter, and fun.  Stuff happens but what’s really important are the relationships I have and love I constantly feel from all those around me.  I have met and made great new friends this semester and am looking forward to what next semester has to offer. 

Advising

I have had three students, outside of my Emerging Leaders class, which I have met with almost every week this semester and advised about different aspects of Associated Students and Senate.  One student, the Director of Student Organizations has been especially challenging in pushing her to develop the skills necessary to balance all that she is involved with.  In addition to this, she is in the sorority I was involved with as an undergrad and looks to me as a friend in many situations as opposed to an advisor.  She is someone who needs affirmation and direction but also gets easily overwhelmed and excited about all that she is tasked with.  As the semester has moved forward she has had her highs and lows, November was very difficult, however a meeting this last week has instilled great hope and faith in the work we are doing together.  She runs the ICC meetings and manages the Student Organizations and after a long semester and some rough meetings this one went perfectly.  Everyone had their requirements turned in, Stephanie was organized and on time, senators and student organizations participated, the Senate Committee Chair moved the group through discussion, and everyone seemed to feel that their voice was heard.  Throughout this semester in both the basic leadership books I have read for Emerging Leaders and the articles and readings for my classes I have learned and seen examples of many leadership theories and practices.  It is in working with these students that I am able to evaluate what their leadership strategies and philosophies are, and how they relate to mine.  I have been able have discussions with them about their thoughts and challenge them to try different things.  In turn, they also challenge me to become a better and more effective advisor.  

University Ministry and El Salvador

As an Undergrad at USD I was very involved in UM.  I participated in mass, attended and led retreats, volunteered, etc.  At the beginning of this semester I felt something was missing and quickly fell back into my routine of Sunday night mass at Founders, or Wednesday night Mass for Peace.   It is in this space that I get to relax, think, and pray.  Earlier this semester I attended the Silent Retreat and what an experience it was.  I don’t know where to begin.  It was amazing to sit alone for almost two full days and not speak, just think, journal, sleep, and reflect.  I don’t think I left that retreat with any great new awakening but it was the peace and presence that I hope to carry into other areas of my life. This semester I have also attended Theology on Tap centering on themes of Community, Prayer, and Vocation.  At these events I have not only been able to meet other grad student both in and outside of SOLES but I have also been able to think about my future and how my work in Higher Education relates to these different topics.  Each experience has given me new insight to my direction and purpose for the future.    

I just had my final pre-trip meeting for my International Experience and am getting excited.  The semester has gone by so quickly.  January is in one month! I will be traveling to El Salvador for two weeks with University Ministry. We will stay in San Salvador, the capital, for the first five days, and then travel to Guarjila, a small village in the countryside to stay with a host family for the remainder of the trip.  El Salvador is a poverty-stricken nation and has been struggling for over 15 years now with the aftermath of a horrible civil war with took the lives of hundreds of thousands of men, women and children.  Since that time the United Nations has been slowly aiding the country to build back up and reestablish a fair and just government.   While in San Salvador we will be meeting with political and religious leaders who will each share their story of the civil war.  We will hear their perspectives on rebuilding the nation and see important historical locations such as the church where Bishop Romero was assassinated.  His death was the start of the war.  We will see art exhibits and cultural ceremonies and have the opportunity to eat dinner with college student who attend the largest university in the country.  In Guarjila we will live simply.  We will learn from he stories of the families who are hosting us and volunteer at the clinic and orphanage that the people run. It should be amazing.  I look forward to being present.  In 550 this semester we talked about the “Here and Now” and these people are constantly in that state of mind.  They don’t have distractions and don’t need a television, phone, or even running water for that matter to keep them occupied.  They don’t have outside worries and want to share their love, culture and faith with us as visitors.  I sure there will be a follow-up post to this experience but for now I am very excited and look forward to this trip!

An Introduction to the World of Student Affairs

At the start of this semester I felt behind.  I knew nothing of the Student Affairs world and was thrown into an environment hearing acronyms like NASPA and ACPA.  Who are these people? And why are they on Blogspot and Twitter all the time?  After a few months of struggle and push back I began to understand and it was at the Western Regional Careers in Student Affairs Day that I finally grasped and visibly saw what an amazing network of people the Student Affairs and Higher Education world it.  I went to three different presentations, a Student Affairs Women’s Panel, a Health, Wellness and Student Development discussion, and a “Top Ten To Do’s” as you enter the Student Affairs world.  They were each unique and helpful in there own way, but what I really took from each presentation was the passion and love that each individual had for their career.  They loved the students that they worked with and each brought life and love into what they did.  I, for the first time, saw the range of positions and options available and loved hearing from, and meeting people from other universities.  Stephanie and I had a great time.  A week after this event I had an Informational Interview with Julie Mattingly at CSUSM and that sparked even more interest in this field.  She has a lot on her plate at that University but it was nice to hear her story.  How she got to her position. How she balances her family with her work.  How she started down the Student Affairs path.  How she handles obstacles and manages the politics of a large, new institution.  She gave me a brief tour of the school, which I have never visited before, and spoke to me about how I should diversify my experience from a Private Catholic institution.  Overall it was a very positive and memorable experience. I hope to do more of these in the future.  

I now understand what all the excitement is about and although I am not as up to par with Twitter and Blogspot as I one day hope to be, it is a constant learning experience. I now have the motivation I need to get there.

Emerging Leaders and Me

So the post below was written mid Oct. after a couple Emerging Leaders courses centering around the ideas of “Consciousness of Self” and “Consciousness of Others” found in Emotionally Intelligent Leadership: A Guide for College Students.

Recently I have been thinking a lot about my development and socialization and how I have changed in my last four years of school.  I see so much of myself in the students I teach who are just four years behind me; freshmen, at a new place, with new independence and a clean slate ahead of them.  I held similar views about leadership and told similar examples of teamwork, flexibility, initiative, and achievement in high school clubs, ASB, class, and sports teams.   Because of the Emerging Leaders class I appreciate so much more the experiences and growth I have gone through.  I sometimes wish I could just give the students my brain with all the experiences and lessons I have learned over my few short years of college to make their lives easier.  They have a lot to look forward to.  I had no idea I would learn so much in a course that I was teaching.

These recent classes have also allowed me to reflect on the personal values and beliefs that shape who I am.  I am slowly starting to understand the conflicts and challenges I will have that question some of the lessons and social beliefs and values I have been taught my entire life.  My upbringing has shaped in a wonderful way the person I am today and I am so grateful for it, but it is apparent that my conservative childhood will be challenged by many practices and philosophies of higher education.  I am not sure how this will play out, and continue to be open and available to new ideas, however I am scared of losing myself in the many messages being presented to me. 

This is a picture of my Emerging Leaders class struggling with the "Habitat House" activity. 

It took a while but in the end they made it!

Intention

The first couple weeks of this semester stood out to me because of the focus on intention, identity and purpose.  These words shaped not only the themes of my classroom but also spread and influenced my work and personal life.  These seemingly simply words were hard for me to understand.  I struggled initially defining what they meant and why they mattered, but also how to incorporate and use them to push me forward.  I have always been able to get my work done and get by or succeed in one-way or another so why did I have to bother?

Putting my doubts aside I set some personal intentions for the semester in the different areas of my life.  In school I wanted to not only succeed, but immerse myself in the readings, topics and discussion.  I wanted to learn and be able to apply all that I was coming to understand to my everyday and future life.  For the first time ever I am studying a field that I truly love, and am excited about.  This is an opportunity I haven’t had before and that probably wont last forever. 

Personally, I wanted to find balance.  Keeping up with friends from high school and undergrad, focusing on school, working hard, staying healthy, supporting my boyfriend of a few years that was testing and applying for law school, and attending to my wonderful parents and family that is now spread across the country would prove, and still proves a constant challenge.

And finally, in my Grad Assistant position I wanted to build and continue to strengthen the USD community that came to be a huge influence on my undergraduate experience.  I wanted to serve students and help them grow in leadership and development through organizations, and faith and trust in one another.  I wanted to learn from them and help them through the ever-present struggles that college students face whether those be time management, relationships, faith, school or any of the other countless obstacles there may be.

Now, a few months into school, and I am happy to say that those intentions provided great direction and purpose for all that I was learning and undertaking.  Although I think in the future I would like to be more specific and less abstract about what I would like to accomplish, these intentions have been a guide to all that I have been through allowing for the semester to be meaningful.  In times of stress and the overwhelming sense of not being enough time, these intentions move me forward and provide great hope.

Getting Started...

So here we go...  This is my first ever “blogging” encounter and I have put together my thoughts from this semester on a number of different experiences that have shaped my recent life as a grad student working in student affairs at USD.  These postings will continue throughout the rest of time here but for now, these upcoming entries are what have been on my mind. 

I think some distinct categories have developed that my different experiences and thoughts fall under and so as my blogging expertise grows I will organize them into more formal groupings.  Thanks for being patient. 

Also, throughout this semester I have taken pictures of moments, situations and things that stand out to me whether those be in my Emerging Leader classroom, my walk to and from school, or out with a friend on the weekend.  I will incorporate these as time goes on and so look forward to viewing small glimpses of what I see on a daily basis.